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daveylin 06-29-2007 12:45 PM

bi-polar wife
I have been married to bi-polar woman for the last 10 yrs..I have had all I can take. She has quit taking her meds once again..she left for 6 wks and drove half-way around the country..she purchased several phones on her trip so she constantly called me...but she wasn't ready to come home..she put 6,000 dollars on the credit card..she bruises herself and then calls the police and has them come to my work and says I beat her up..she calls my family and makes up all these lies..she sees the devil she destroys things..beat my truck with a chain...I was told I could have her committed but she can check herself out after 72 hrs..she has no job..not employable..no money so there I am responsible for all the debt she has incurred she has no where to go as her family members have had enough also..I want out..I want a divorce...but not sure if you can divorce a person who is "CRAZY"..

ghead1 06-29-2007 01:11 PM

Re: bi-polar wife
Stariondad.... where are you?!?!?

Hang in here Daveylin... we have a poster or two who will be able to offer you a lot.

Best wishes.

2ndWind 06-29-2007 01:17 PM

Re: bi-polar wife

Originally Posted by ghead1 (Post 9798)
Stariondad.... where are you?!?!?

I was about to say the same thing.

This sounds horrible for you. I have a cousin who is a paranoid schizophrenic who's done similar things to her family so I empathize with you. You're correct in that a 5150 will result in her being held for only 72 hours, upon which time they will release her. Do you have children? Is there anyone at all in her family you can talk with about her situation?

daveylin 06-29-2007 01:37 PM

Re: bi-polar wife
I live in Florida...she has a son and I have 3 daughters we have no children together...her son is in and out of jail..seems he inherited some of moms genes...my daughters are not allowed to visit me because she is so jealous of them...they all live in ky..I moved down here when I retired. I thought once we got down here she would be better...she has 2 sisters who sympathize with me but they have put up with this all their lives too...

willowtree 06-29-2007 01:43 PM

Re: bi-polar wife

my daughters are not allowed to visit me because she is so jealous of them
Ok, that's got to stop. No matter what her problem, if it affects your relationship with your kids you have to make a stand.

Whatever you do, make sure you document, document, document. You don't want her accusations of abuse to get you in really hot water some day.

Best wishes to you, and welcome.

daveylin 06-29-2007 01:58 PM

Re: bi-polar wife
I have documented alot of things...neighbors have wittnessed many thing salso...one day when we still lived in Ky..she threw my clothes out the door in to the front lawn..knocked me down the steps..baricaded herself in the house by nailing all the windows and doors shut..I called the police and they took her off to Eastern State (mental facility) but she was out in 72 hrs...I have never touched her but she always tells people how bad I beat her...I just want to know if there is a law that would make me stay married or responsible for her for the rest of my life...I feel like I am in hell....

Rocky 06-29-2007 02:03 PM

Re: bi-polar wife
daveylin - A couple of people on this board have had a similar experience. They will be able to help you.

Also, Tuffy's work experience my make her a good resource as well.

willowtree 06-29-2007 02:04 PM

Re: bi-polar wife
Married to her - no. As far as I know there are no laws in any state that would require you to stay married to her.

"Responsible" for her, is a different matter. Financially, you may be required to pay her alimony if it's obvious she can't support herself. But if you mean the person who HAS to take care of her, house her, etc.... as far as I know, no. Otherwise every spouse of an addict or alkie would have to stay married as well.

Stariondad is the guy to talk to - he's in FL as well, and divorced his bipolar ex.

Rocky 06-29-2007 02:11 PM

Re: bi-polar wife
I can't imagine any state laws which could *make* someone stay married for any reason. The details of a settlement may come into play.

If you wife was released after a 72 hour intake, I suspect that the medical professionals didn't feel that she was a serious risk to herself or others. Sadly, things usually need to be very serious for them to hold someone.

Call the police every time there is an incident. That way you have more than family or yourself as the reporter.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this situation. You are in a difficult spot. As you well know, mental health services in this country are not easily found.

And willow is correct....you need to have your children with you. Live your life as normally as possible. If your wife reacts, report it. There are consequences.

Stariondad 06-29-2007 02:27 PM

Re: bi-polar wife
Don't have a lot of time right now but..

Divorce her.

Close all financial accounts and open new ones she can't access. Protect any and all assets. Give her money on an as needed basis and document it. Interview a couple lawyers and hire the most aggressive and experienced one you can. Don't skimp to save a few bucks on the lawyer.

You don't have to stay married. How long were you married ? Plan on having to support her financially for at least a while after the divorce. Keep documenting everything you can. Once you get a lawyer and file, get your lawyer to submit a motion to order a psych evaluation. If that eval comes out as you expect push to have her put on disability. If it doesn't ask for another eval. Don't move out of the house unless you have no choice.

Get out. Save yourself. Find your daughters again.

Divorce is expensive. This kind of divorce is very expensive. But it is more than worth it IMO. Supporting her after divorce may very well be cheaper than living with her and you get your life back.

Hang tough. Get the ball rolling.

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