my first teacher...

[ghead1]

Was my sister. She is 4 years older than me. She started teaching me to read when I was 3 years old. I think she just liked being able to make me stay at my "desk"! She always has been in it for the argument, the fight, the struggle. She once told me "Sometimes I just take a poosition to start an argument."

She studied Spanish for at least 10 years. She tried to teach me some, but I guess I wasn't interested. I was always jealous of her older friends, and had crushes on most of the boys. I did get to be the maid of honor when she married the first time. I was 13, and got so drunk on champagne that when I convinced one of the ushers to let me drive in the traditional chase around town after the reception (newlyweds trying to shake all of us) I ran his truck into a ditch.

Anyway, I've gotten really tight with sis the last year or so... dealing with all my parents' health issues. We deal with it very differently, as she is tough as nails and is so unconcerned with other peoples' feelings I sometimes wonder when she lost that part of her soul. Yet, she is a devout Christian, singer in a Christian rock band. She is also the healthiest 51 year old woman I know. Exercises, eats carefully, no drinking or smoking (well, not anymore anyway!) (she's the anti-me)

Sis had surgery this past Monday to remove a whole mess of fibroids. In the hospital 2 days, then home. The day after her surgery, I had to go hunt her down in the hospital, she had walked all the way to the cafeteria. By gosh, if the dr. said walk, well let's walk.

She's back in the hospital tonight, went to the ER because she is having trouble breathing. She was admitted with a pulmonary embolism. Supposedly her odds are very good. I'll go see her tomorrow morning, and I hope the drugs will have made some improvement by then. (she doesn't want visitors tonight, too tired)

So, any prayers are welcomed. I tried to be really confident with my mom so she doesnt get all freaky and have a stroke or something... but I'm kinda worried. Sis didn't sound good on the phone.

thanks for listening

[aires24]

Prayers to your sis ghead! You post was very moving.

[2ndWind]

My thoughts are with you and your sister, ghead. I hope she makes a full recovery. No one has a closer bond to us than a sibling....who else stays in our lives from early childhood to old age? No matter how much we may misunderstand each other, the duration of that bond gives it a great deal of strength. I'm so glad that you're there for her.

[steamy]

Ahhh Ghead. Prayers going up for your sister and parents and you and mr Ghead. Keep us posted.

My first teacher was Sister Martina, her habit fasinated me, all the bells & whistles (Roseries, flowing layers of black, huge white cresent around her face), she was very nice and didn't scold me too much when I ran away from school in first grade to go to the park. I told her I had a dentist Appt and was meeting my mom. She fell for it hook,line & sinker...my mother told me later how they all got a kick out of it later.

My best teacher was Mr. Gaines in 6th grade, he pushed me to learn and was very determined that we all did our best! When he said you did well, it was a great feeling, not just an ATTA girl for completing something, you were suppose to do anyway.

[ghead1]

sis called me a bit ago... they are moving her from ICU to a regular room. She is doing better, feels stronger. She wants to go home tomorrow :-)

thanks for the good thoughts!

[SO713]

Glad to hear that your sister is recuperating very well. I pray that she continues to do so.

I am a bit concern for you tho. I know you have a lot going on and have too much on your plate. Take care of your health. How is your work going???? Over-worked, over-stressed/tired and underpaid. Must feel like it, sometimes. How is the situation about the new house going??? Any final decision yet??? I don't know, somehow I was under the impression that you live in Michigan but you are in sunny CA.

It is freezing cold here today. Sun is out but very cold. Beautiful colourful foliage everywhere, makes you just keep going on and on.........forever.
Last night the temp. was 6 degree Celcius. It is not bad. Winter is not as bad as it used to be in 70s and 80s. Freezing rain and icecicles(sp)hanging from trees and homes everywhere by now. :)

[moogg]

sending warm thoughts and prayers your way here in Cali, Ghead. The bond of sisters is a deep one, hugs to you.

[BriarRose]

The best thing about being home is Seattle is that I get to see my sister more often. She really is my best friend and always has been. Our older sister was more separate from us though we miss her and are sorry she is gone now.

Last Friday when George and I were on the bus ride home two old ladies, VERY obviously sisters, got on. One kept losing her hat. Left it on the bench, driver went out and got it, and then left it on the seat when they got off, a passenger retrieved it and ran it out to her. George says, “oh god Mom that’s you and Auntie Georgia in 25 years!” I hope so. I will NOT be the one losing my hat. My Georgia agreed. Sisters are great.

[amc123]

((((ghead)))), Sending prayers for your sister and your family.

[poolman]

I hope your sister does OK

Was the youngest of 8 and we are all still close. I could call anyone of them and they would be here in minutes if I needed them and visa versa.

[ghead1]

Sis continues to improve. I agree, while she and I are ice and fire, we are still very close and always have supported each other.

SO, thank you for your concerns. I am doing fine. We did not make an offer on the property, I am getting a bit better at my job (and my boss has offered that I can work part time of I want... but no guarantee of a full time position in the future... so mulling that over carefully). I work daily, hourly on my quiet mind... to reduce stress, and improve on how I deal with situations. It does help. While I am not a churchgoing woman, my faith in God gives me a lot of support... knowing I am not dealing with any of this alone. He's been hearing from me a lot lately :-)))

[4Wardmarch]

Jeez Louise, ghead, that's a whole heap of problems you are dealing with. I hope your sister springs back quickly. Fibroids are a nuisance, but breathing problems are scary. Check in often and let us know; we're all pulling for you both!

[CheroCreek]

I am sorry I missed this topic till now. Your sister will be in my morning and evening prayer songs, Ghead. May Spirit grant her all that is best for her and hers.

Blessings and Peace

[zuzuzu]

ghead, it sounds wonderful to have such a sister..... thanks for sharing the intimate details of why you and she are close. (I wish I had one.....!!)

Be patient with your sister and her recovery. I had a massive fibroid (15 cm across) removed a couple of months ago and was in the hospital for 3 days. Surgery is surgery, whether for a fibroid or anything else..... it takes a toll in ways no one can anticipate. I am always busy, strong, healthy..... I had to learn to do less, be patient, rest and lean on people in ways I never had to before. Meds can induce states of mind that are scary, depressing.... Many elements to a hospital stay that go along with the surgery itself.

Your sister might not seem like herself for a little while..... I'm glad you're there for her. (Ask about the pathology report that is done post-surgery. I was told my fibroid was cancer-free right after surgery, but the doc came by 2 days later and said the path report was negative and all fine. I asked "Didn't they do that already? The doc answered that they always do a second analysis because there are some things that aren't initially detected.") I'm sure everything is fine with your sis but be sure to have the best docs and get answers to ALL questions.

[kara.]

ghead, hope your sis continues to improve and glad to hear you're feeling like you're continuing to make small steps in taking care of yourself (knowing how hard that is myself)...(((Ghead)))

[ghead1]

wow, she went home yesterday! Still has some fluid around her lungs, but she is breathing much easier. I know it's hard for her to be still, but those are the orders for now.

I can't thank you-all enough for the strength you lend in times like these.

zuzu, I'm guessing she'll be all over the place for awhile... they did a complete hysterectomy and it will take a while for her hormones to settle out. I just keep telling her to relax and not worry about anything. If she takes my advice it'll be a first... :-)

[dollygirl]

(((ghead))))) You really have a lot on your plate.

[zuzuzu]

ghead, look for a pm from me....

[Phoebe]

ghead, chiming in late but I am glad to hear your sister is on her way to recovery. Pulmonary issues are not funny!! Thoughts and prayers your way.

(HUGS)

[standingstill]

I'm sending good wishes your way for your sister's speedy recovery!

[Tiddly]

OH Sweetie, my prayers are going up immediately! There's nothing better than a sister! Sounds like yall have a lot of great memories! I am praying so for her to recover and she sounds like someone who will!

[Tiddly]

The best thing about being home is Seattle is that I get to see my sister more often. She really is my best friend and always has been. Our older sister was more separate from us though we miss her and are sorry she is gone now.

Last Friday when George and I were on the bus ride home two old ladies, VERY obviously sisters, got on. One kept losing her hat. Left it on the bench, driver went out and got it, and then left it on the seat when they got off, a passenger retrieved it and ran it out to her. George says, “oh god Mom that’s you and Auntie Georgia in 25 years!” I hope so. I will NOT be the one losing my hat. My Georgia agreed. Sisters are great.

Briar, my sister is my best friend and anyone who saw us in Jr. high and high school would have said we would have killed each other! My sister is my life! I love her so much and wish we lived closer. We talk every single day thank goodness for email/cell phones!

[Tiddly]

wow, she went home yesterday! Still has some fluid around her lungs, but she is breathing much easier. I know it's hard for her to be still, but those are the orders for now.

I can't thank you-all enough for the strength you lend in times like these.

zuzu, I'm guessing she'll be all over the place for awhile... they did a complete hysterectomy and it will take a while for her hormones to settle out. I just keep telling her to relax and not worry about anything. If she takes my advice it'll be a first... :-)

Those hormones won't let you! lol

[m-over-m]

ghead, glad to hear your sister is doing better. Will keep her in my prayers.

While we're praying for sisters, a couple of days ago I learned that one of the twins who used to tend my son died of lung cancer (diagnosed about 3 years ago). She was only 24 years old. Besides her twin sister, parents, and other siblings, she is survived by a husband and year-old baby (amazingly she got pregnant and had the baby while her cancer was in remission a couple of years ago). I imagine things will be very tough for the twin sister, not to mention the husband and baby.

[Tiddly]

goodness she was young to die of that!

[ghead1]

that's so sad m-o-m.

ditto, Tiddly... as sis is older than me, I was the "victim" of a lot of pummeling as a kid. Her favorite thing was to smack me right on top of the head. She was always the loud one, and she accused me of being quiet and sneaky :-) Not I! I was just glad to hit 12 and finally be able to hit back. After one last, very painful fight, we moved on to intellectual warfare.

But she wouldn't let any one else hurt me.

Sis continues to improve, but I am having a hard time keeping her emotions in check. She had it out with my mom the other day and now they aren't speaking... guess who is supposed to be in the middle of this? Good thing I have learned so much here at DOL... I don't HAVE to play the part they have chosen for me! They have a surprise in store <BEG>

[zuzuzu]

I am having a hard time keeping her emotions in check.

ghead, there is NO way you can even begin to do this. It will be hard enough for HER to find the drug that works, if she chooses HRT. I just learned from a girlfriend that it is not only the dosage that has an impact, but the delivery vehicle (patch vs pill). My friend was taking 0.5 mg/estradiol per day in pill form but that didn't stabilize her moods. She changed to a patch of the same dosage and feels great.

I think that it is normal to EXPECT moods to be fairly wild for a while and hope that the people in her life will be gracious and patient with your sis as she struggles with this. Believe me, it will be a struggle for her (if the symptoms are already presenting themselves). I am still struggling, 14 weeks post surgery.

[zuzuzu]

The hormonal imbalance is not a permanent excuse, of course. However, it seems appropriate for sis to just acknowledge that this is a part of the post-surgery adjustment period.

[ghead1]

Ah, this I understand zuzu. I'm not sure she does. She insists she is just dandy, no problems at all, she is the model of post-surgical recovery.

"ME have emotional swings? Never?" ha ha ha ha ha!

More than anything, when I say keep her emotions in check, is to keep reminding her that the reactions she is having right now to situations (such as my mom's health issues) aren't exactly simple intellectual responses, but are instead greatly affected by just the usual: anethesia, exhaustion, pain... as well as the hormone issues. And to keep telling her to "relax, don't worry about the folks, or me." She is so worried about how I'm dealing with everything that she can't just set it aside and take time to recuperate.

Man, and you guys think I'M a control freak... you haven't met my sister!!!

[zuzuzu]

well, ghead, she might become more self-aware when she starts to cry when she hears a song on the radio.... or is up all night and can't sleep.... or when life is perfectly fine and she feels that she just needs to go to sleep to get away from it all... but can't sleep, of course.... or wants to move to a hut on a hillside and never talk to anyone else ever again and that seems perfectly reasonable...

This process will play out for her in its own time and own way. Maybe she can't think about what has just happened, either. I have seen this in myself. Even though I didn't want any more kids and knew that menopause was just around the corner, I still find/found myself grieving the loss of certain female body parts. Perhaps your sis just isn't able to accept this about herself yet and is focusing on other people (you and mom) to avoid herself. That would be understandable as well.

[OnSolidPath]

(((ghead))) Aren't sisters the greatest? Mine are my best friends. Hope yours is on the mend soon.

[dollygirl]

ghead - glad she is better.
I had a hysterectomy right before 9-11. I was crying constantly. Not that I wouldn't have any way, but I was really a mess. Give her time.

[lexicon]

((ghead)) sorry gf,...I didn't see this w/trip and all. Sisters,...nuthing like sisters. I miss my sister always. Prayers going up for a speedy recovery for your first teacher!! I 2nd the walking advise,..pump that healthy healing oxygen where it needs to be.:)

[m-over-m]

ghead - glad she is better.
I had a hysterectomy right before 9-11. I was crying constantly. Not that I wouldn't have any way, but I was really a mess. Give her time.

dolly, we have something else in common! Mine was actually about 6 weeks before 9/11 (because I had just barely gone back to work a few days before 9/11/2001).

And suddenly I'm remembering (speaking of sisters and surgeries), I went to visit my sister while I was recovering. I was going absolutely stir crazy at home (I'm sure the hormone imbalance was a big part of it). My mom had a fit because she didn't think I should be driving that distance (about 500 miles) only 3 weeks after surgery. But I took it easy and broke the drive into two days, and my son was with me so I wasn't alone. And after a week with my sis, I felt 100% better! I was ready to go back home and face the world and real life. Little did I know what Osama had in store for us...

[2ndWind]

She is so worried about how I'm dealing with everything that she can't just set it aside and take time to recuperate.
Man, and you guys think I'M a control freak... you haven't met my sister!!!

Years ago I saw a movie with Holly Hunter whose sister was the most controlling person imaginable. It was the most hilarious depiction of controlling siblings I'd ever seen. :) As sobering as her sister's character was, I couldn't help but laugh while watching it. Anne Bancroft was their mother....wish I could think of the name of the film. It came out about 10 or so years ago. I'll try looking it up.

[ghead1]

I'd like to see it 2nd... I love Hunter and Bancroft. 2 great actresses.

I got a thank you card from sis yesterday... for my calling, and stopping by etc. ???? It was beyond maudlin, so I'm getting the feeling that the hormone issue is in full swing.

Plus, I think this is the first time in 20 years she has had to stay still long enough for her thoughts and emotions to merge.

[poolman]

Skipping to the bottom about hysterectomy's... The first time I every raised my voice to the ex was after she had her hysterectomy and she was a total nightmare to live with. I firmly told her she needed to get back to her OBGYN and have her meds checked. She did and from then on we called them her (happy pills).

[2ndWind]

I'd like to see it 2nd... I love Hunter and Bancroft. 2 great actresses.

I just looked it up. It's Home for the Holidays and it came out in 1995....hope it's still available to rent. Jodie Foster directed it.

[ghead1]

even better! I just love Jodie Foster :-) I'll try to remember and look for it.

[Tiddly]

good for you!!!

[Tiddly]

Did you see where one of the Hanson brothers was put in the hospital after a performance on stage with the pulmonary embolism? He's quite young too!